i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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