Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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