you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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