Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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