can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
