she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
