Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
