We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
we're so committed to being not committed
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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