1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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