I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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