To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
