I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They are going to name an STD after you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
