Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
