just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
