Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
