We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
