I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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