so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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