I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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