i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
