I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
