There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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