So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
