He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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