My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
