Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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