why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
