Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
