I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
