GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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