You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
