I need help removing her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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