I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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