why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
