just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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