brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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