hotel room ftw
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
