I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
