no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
