just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
