Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
