I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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