remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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