In the future we'll all be gay
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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