Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
