He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
