I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
