Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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