The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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