on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
